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Channel 10 Great TV Auction
April 20 ·
We would like to thank LaMont Prospect CONTROL for donating to the 2015 Channel 10 Great TV Auction.

Judges commentary from the 20th Annual Writer’s Digest Annual 2012 Self-Published Book Awards

“What  an interesting topic! I don't think I've ever seen a book on this  subject before. I like the way you first set the stage, as far as how  you define control and the ways in which you'll cover the topic in your  book: people who overly control others and those who allow themselves to  become overly controlled. I then like how you focus on individual  stories about control, so we can see the effects it can have on people's  lives. I'm glad that you included a robust bibliography. The subtitle  made the context of the book crystal clear. Best of luck to you!”

Dear LaMont,
      I am currently reading CONTROL and skimming the chapters that most  interest me. My father (and now I), both suffer from being very bad  control freaks. I wanted to thank you and congratulate you on your work,  and hoped for you to know it is illuminating to me on my search for  solutions in my life that do not rely on controlling other people or  things. Fine work and a great subject to anyone wishing to avoid such  people or traits in their own lives!

Sincerely,
T.A.D.
Received 9-4-2011

Wednesday, May 5,2010

LaMont Prospect Explores ‘Control’
Milwaukee psychologist speaks out
By David Luhrssen

Most  of us resent control freaks; at the same time, we usually fear losing  control. Milwaukee psychologist LaMont Prospect explores the issue in  Control: A Book About People With an Excessive Need to Control Other  People or Things and About People Who Allow Themselves to be Controlled  by Other People and Things. Prospect earned a Ph.D. in school psychology  from Loyola University Chicago and works in that capacity for MPS.  Along with an exploration into the psychology of dominance and  submission, Prospect makes many interesting statements about education, a  system demanding a healthy balance between control and chaos. He  critiques malfeasance in charter schools, the pernicious ideology that  schools should be run as businesses and the practice of private  academies shedding troubled (out of control?) students into public  school special-education programs.

How can we recognize when our desire for control becomes excessive or unhealthy?

There  is a difference between giving direction, suggestion or advice and  saying, “It’s my way or no way.” Let’s take the example of raising  children. When children are very young or in their elementary years,  they definitely need structure or predictability. They need to know that  an adult is going to be relatively consistent. If not, they are likely  to grow up feeling insecure or unsure of themselves. Now, as they become  older—let’s say the teenage years, there should be a balance between  providing structure and flexibility. Kids need to be allowed to make  some mistakes. Now the question becomes, when they make a mistake, is it  going to become a learning experience or is the child going to be  crucified and develop a sense of anger or mistrust? As they get older  and become young adults, they have to be allowed even more flexibility  and hopefully they will again learn from their mistakes. When a parent  becomes and remains too structured or too rigid, especially as children  get older, I believe that you will begin to see signs of  dysfunction—anger, arguments, withdrawal behavior…

This book is  not about prisons, per se. The book is very down to earth and filled  with real stories about real people—these are stories that almost anyone  can relate to. This book is about relationships—relationships that are  more like prisons than anything else. When a husband, wife, boyfriend,  girlfriend, parent, co-worker, sibling or individual tries to control  another person, the end result is usually not a good one. As a result,  people can go through life being very unhappy and experience a very low  quality of human relationship, whether it is a marriage or whatever.

How  can we recognize that we have an unhealthy need to control other people  or the environment around us? What are some symptoms?

The  more an individual has an excessive need to control other people or  things, the more likely it is that the person who is attempting to  control others is experiencing a lot of internal chaos or confusion.  Now, people who are controlling may or may not be aware of what they are  doing. In many cases, they are fully aware but they just don’t give a  damn because all they are interested in is themselves and their own  personal gain. They could care less about people, including their own  loved ones.

 One of the ways controlling people compensate or try  to correct for this sense of internal chaos is to try to micromanage  others. You see this a lot in business situations. For example, a good  boss, manager, supervisor or administrator should be able to recognize  who their good employees are. The employees who are competent should be  left alone to do their jobs. Now, for people who may be having trouble  or challenges with their jobs, a good boss should take the time to look  at “why” the person is having trouble. Do they just need some kind of  support in one area or is it just the result of a bad attitude. If an  employee has a bad attitude, one might want to consider if it is the  result of some situational or personal crisis or do they really not give  a damn about what they are doing… If the person in authority has done  everything they can to help the person and things still are not working  out, perhaps a change is required.

 The problem is, bosses who  tend to micromanage everyone—especially the good employees—are doing it  because they are trying to compensate for their own inadequacy or  incompetence. In essence, they are trying to create a sense of control  even though it is a superficial one. As a result, a controlling boss can  drive the good employees out of a business and the whole thing goes  down the tubes. The exact same thing can happen in relationships. People  who experience a lot of internal chaos usually try to compensate by  trying to control or micromanage their spouses, their friends, their  children, their co-workers or significant others. As a result, the  relationships suffer and people go through life with miserable  marriages, relationships and ultimately an unhappy and unfulfilled life.